Profoundly Romantic?

As I sit here stewing over the fact that this blog has barely been a thought that has crossed my mind I’ve come to realize part of the problem. My problem is that over the past few years I’ve shifted away from just blogging whatever to blogging about something important, or at least to say something profound. That wasn’t how this blog started, but as time passed that drive to immortalize what I did became more of a drive to say something that was interesting. It became less of a gaming diary and more of a soapbox.

I remember back when I started this blog, almost nine years ago now, I would just give a recap of what I did in Final Fantasy XI. Sure it may not have been interesting to everyone and I certainly did not intend my posts to make profound statements yet as time by and I saw what other bloggers were doing and saying I became intrigued with trying to be that blog that people would turn to and say to themselves “whoa, he’s made some really great points.” 

Blame it on my natural tendencies on wanting to fit in and yet at the same time stand out among the crowd. This idea of my blog becoming a beacon in the community became a romantic fantasy, something that came to cripple my stream-of-consciousness style that it originated from. Sure, there were times where I didn’t try to say anything profound and just let the words flow from my fingers and those times would be where I think my blog worked best.

Just me being me. A big silly gaming geek.

So folks, that’s what I’m going to try to get back to. Not going to try to continually refine my thoughts into overly idealized and profound statements. I’m not quite that … *ahem* smart. Well okay, I’m not a dummy either, but I’m not going to try to be a genius.

Occasionally I might accidentally say something really profound, but it will just be a matter of happenstance when the mood strikes me. I am definitely capable of doing so, but like I said earlier, that’s not how this blog started nearly nine years ago.

Wait. Let’s let that soak in. This blog has been around for nearly a decade! And what do I have to show for it? A mere 260’sh posts? Yup. Definitely been a bit too … up-tight about what I’ve been blogging. I certainly don’t act up-tight on the Shattered Soulstone, so why should I do so here?

Right. So what does this mean going forward? It means you’re going to be getting a lot more of me and what I’ve been up to with my life, in-game and out. Are you excited? I am, I think. I just hope I actually take the time to immortalize what I’ve been doing in Diablo 3 ^^; Oh don’t worry, I still play WoW as well as other games … sorta.

Wait. I got it! By blogging about what I’ve been up to in Diablo 3 I can turn that around and use it for the Shattered Soulstone! YESH. PERFECT. It all comes back to how good I look in stillettos. Mrowr!

Okay, yah … that was a lot funnier in my head ^^;

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Crossroads

It’s no surprise that it’s been almost a month since my last update on the blog. It’s not for a lack of trying, but every single time that I’ve sat down to write something I’ve immediately lost my motivation. I’ll get this great idea for my blog, then just as I’m about to start typing everything goes blank. After a few minutes of blankly staring at the screen I just decide to do something else.

Is it writer’s block? I’m not sure. Usually I’ll rationalize my decisions to not update my blog with the notion that whatever I would have written would have been tripe and uninspired. That might be the root cause for the lack of updates over the past month. I just haven’t been inspired enough to sit down and share my thoughts.

Now before either of us goes into a panic, this thing happens to me a lot and at some point I just get over it. It has happened many, many times in the past and I’m positive it’ll continue to be a problem that plagues this blog for the years to come. Oh noes! Not to worry, I always get over it and suddenly my blog springs to life once more.

It’s just the natural ebb and flow of my blogging that is frighteningly  similar to that of my gaming habits. For instance, this hiatus has been caused from the lack of gaming that I’ve felt inspired to write about. What have I been playing this past month? Mostly Torchlight, a couple of PS3 demos and I’ve recently decided to try LOTRO, (free trial of course).

As great as Torchlight is, it isn’t a great game to blog about. I mean, it’s Diablo, what more need be said about it? Sure I could blog about the trials and tribulations of my melee alchemist, but would any of you care? It’s solely a single player game and the end-game is a randomized dungeon-crawler. At some point I may decide to post an entry or two about the unusual builds that I’m playing, but right now I’m not feeling it as a necessary blog update.

Anyhoo, I have also decided to give Lord of the Rings Online a try since I am a fan of the Tolkien world, but the game hasn’t struck a chord with me and there’s little hope that it will. My lack of interest in LOTRO is cemented in the fact that I’ve dedicated 5 years of my gaming life to WoW and every single time I play LOTRO, I’d rather just reactivate my WoW account. Everything just feels clunky in LOTRO where as everything in WoW feels just right. That isn’t to say that LOTRO doesn’t do anything well as it is most certainly a very competent game, it’s just that WoW has spoiled me as an MMO gamer.

Has WoW ruined every other MMO for me? That is my biggest worry about going into Final Fantasy XIV later this year. I’m hopeful that FFXIV will rekindle that love I had for Final Fantasy XI, but after playing WoW for so long, I’m worried I’ll fall into the same trap of rather-be-playing-WoW.

At this point I think the only way I could conceivably give any other MMO a fair shot is if I find myself in a strong community. If it hadn’t of been for the fact that Star Trek Online was released way too early, I might actually still be playing it. Cryptic failed to deliver on a true Star Trek experience and the community has fled from the game.

Many of the STO podcasts I was listening to have disappeared, or are having issues with feeling inspired to keep podcasting about STO. I’ve stopped following news regarding STO and at this point I could care less about it. Between my forth-coming inner-turmoil between WoW and FFXIV, there’s just no room for a poor MMO. I would say shame on Cryptic for STO, but after City of Heroes and Champions Online, it’s shame on me for putting my faith in them one more time.

Well, I think I’ve rambled on long enough about the MMO crossroads that I’m at. I’ll try to keep my inspiration and motivation going for slightly more frequent updates, but I think I’m going to have to go with smaller updates. More stream-of-consciousness stuff without so much emphasis on trying to write something great. I might even share a couple thoughts on what’s going on with WoW, but no promises. ^^;